Frequently Asked Questions
Have questions about therapy or working with Deb Dettman-Wise Woman Therapy? You’re not alone —a lot people have never done this before. Here are the questions I hear most often, answered as honestly as I can.
Getting Started / First Steps
Q: I’ve never been to therapy before. What should I expect?
In the first sessions I do a Bio-Psycho-Social-Spiritual Evaluation that I created. I ask you a lot of questions to get some of your origin story so I can start to see where you’re coming from. I ask about your history, your current situation, your take on important questions in life and what’s bringing you in. It’s to help me understand a bit about important impacts on your life and set our direction for working together.
Most people feel some nervousness before their first session — that’s completely normal (Vogel et al., 2007). My job is to make you feel as comfortable as possible so we can get to work. And if you have pressing current issues to talk about right out of the gate it might take a few sessions for me to get all the answers to my initial questions. That’s okay. We set the pace.
Q: How do I know if you’re the right therapist for me?
One of the most important factors in successful therapy is the fit between you and your therapist — what researchers call the “therapeutic alliance” (Norcross & Wampold, 2011). Before you even reach out, I’d encourage you to really read my About page — I’ve intentionally put a lot of information there so you can get a genuine sense of who I am, how I work, and what I’m about. It’s worth your time. And if you need to schedule a free phone consultation to get a feel for whether we’re a good match. Trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s always okay to keep looking. I’d rather you find the right therapist than settle for the wrong one. I’m not for everyone and that’s okay. https://wisewomantherapy.com/therapy-active-collaboration/
Insurance & Fees
Q: Do you take insurance?
I am an out-of-network (OON) provider. I don’t bill insurance directly, but I provide a Superbill — a detailed receipt you can submit to your insurance company for reimbursement. Clients pay me first and seek reimbursement from their insurance. If you have a PPO plan, you may be reimbursed 60–80% of session costs after your deductible is met. It’s worth calling the member services number on your insurance card to ask about your out-of-network mental health benefits.
Q: Why don’t you take insurance?
I am a solo practice, a one woman show. Taking insurance would take up approximately 25-30% of my time and leave me personally vulnerable by claw backs and insurance run arounds. Working outside of insurance allows me to focus entirely on your care rather than on paperwork, authorizations, and insurance company requirements. It also means your treatment isn’t dictated by what an insurance company is willing to cover. No limit on the number of sessions you can have. No risk of losing your therapist if I decide to leave a particular insurance panel (Mojtabai & Olfson, 2008).
There’s also the privacy issue. When you use insurance, your insurer has access to your treatment records — they know your business. And to use your mental health benefits at all, you must be diagnosed with a mental health disorder. That diagnosis then follows you on your permanent medical record. Many of the women I see are struggling and need support, but they don’t meet the threshold for a clinical diagnosis — or they simply don’t want one attached to their name for the rest of their lives. That’s a completely reasonable concern, and working privately means it’s never an issue. For deep, ongoing work, all of this matters.
Q: What is your fee?
Individual therapy sessions are $200 per session. I have some limited slots at reduced fees, so please ask.
How Therapy Works
Q: What does therapy with you actually look like?
I’m an active, engaged therapist. I don’t just sit there and ask, “how does that make you feel?” I ask thoughtful questions, offer suggestions, and work collaboratively with you. We’ll talk about the past when it’s relevant, but we’ll mostly work in the present — what’s happening now and what’s getting in your way. I’ll help you identify patterns that used to serve you but no longer do, and we’ll build on your strengths to find new ways forward.
Q: What therapeutic approaches do you use?
I come from an eclectic approach that is feminist, client centered and influenced a lot by Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), some of the most well-researched approaches for anxiety, depression, and other challenges (Hofmann et al., 2012). For trauma, I also use trauma-informed approaches and may incorporate elements from Seeking Safety (Najavits, 2002) and other evidence-based frameworks. My approach is flexible — what works for one person may not work for another, and I’ll adjust to fit your needs.
Q: How long will therapy take?
That depends entirely on what you’re working on and what your goals are. You’re the boss. Clients can come for a focused period of a few months. Others do deeper, longer-term work over a year or more, and some women see me for years as we work through layers of complex history and ongoing life challenges. Research shows that many people experience meaningful improvement within 12–16 sessions, though complex trauma and longstanding patterns often benefit from more time (Lambert, 2013). There’s also a middle path that many women find works well for them — they do a solid period of therapy, finish, and then come back for occasional “tune ups” as life brings new challenges. However it unfolds, we’ll check in regularly about how things are going and where you want to take things.
Q: How will I know if therapy is working?
You’ll notice it. Things that used to throw you completely will start to feel more manageable. Patterns you couldn’t see before will become clearer. You’ll find yourself responding differently in situations that used to be really hard. Progress isn’t always linear — there will be harder weeks — but over time, the direction should be clearly forward. We’ll also check in regularly to make sure the work is moving in the right direction for you (Lambert, 2013).
Q: Do I have to do homework?
At the end of every session I’ll ask you: “What is your commitment to yourself before we meet next?” You come up with your own answer. I may offer suggestions, but you decide what feels right and doable. Sometimes it’s as, “I will send that text I talked about that I keep putting off.” Then at our next session we’ll follow up on how it went. This matters because a real sense of progress comes from noticing the things you can actually change — even small things. Especially small things. That sense of forward movement is powerful, and it builds on itself. David Burns’ Feeling Great (2020) is one resource I sometimes recommend for between-session work, and research supports that this kind of intentional practice between sessions can meaningfully speed progress (Burns, 2020).
Specialties & Approaches
Q: Who do you work with?
I work exclusively with women. My clients are dealing with anxiety, trauma, addiction recovery, life transitions, relationship challenges, and the particular weight of being a woman navigating a world that wasn’t designed with us in mind. Many of my clients are high-functioning women who appear to have it all together on the outside but are exhausted on the inside.
Q: Do you work with women who are confused about their sexual orientation?
Yes, and this comes up more than you might think. Some women come to me specifically because they are questioning whether they are lesbian or bisexual. Others are heterosexual women who simply need a safe space to talk about sexuality — their own experiences, their relationships, their history — without feeling judged. All of that is completely welcome here. As a lesbian therapist with decades of lived and professional experience, I bring a depth of understanding to these conversations that is hard to find elsewhere. You won’t have to explain yourself or worry about my reaction. Research shows that clients benefit greatly from working with therapists who are comfortable and knowledgeable around sexual orientation (Israel et al., 2008). Whatever you’re sorting through, we can talk about it. https://wisewomantherapy.com/therapy-for-lesbians/
Q: Do you work with anxiety?
All the time. Anxiety is one of my primary specialties. I work with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), PTSD, OCD, and anxiety that doesn’t come with a formal diagnosis but is still making your life really hard. CBT is one of the most effective evidence-based treatments for anxiety (Hofmann et al., 2012), and I draw on it along with other approaches depending on what works best for you. https://wisewomantherapy.com/anxiety-therapy-for-women/
Q: Do you work with trauma survivors?
Absolutely. Many of the women I work with have experienced trauma — most often a complex history of multiple experiences layered over time. I use trauma-informed approaches and have worked with survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, childhood abuse, religious trauma and workplace trauma for over 30 years. Understanding how trauma shapes the way we think, feel, and move through the world is central to my work (Herman, 2015). https://wisewomantherapy.com/anxiety-therapy-for-women/
Q: Do you work with addiction and recovery?
I have specialized in women’s recovery for decades and work with women who are newly sober, in long-term recovery, or still in the thick of it. My approach draws on tools like Seeking Safety (Najavits, 2002) and Helping Women Recover (Covington, 2008). Peer recovery communities like in AA, NA, Dharma Recovery, and SMART Recovery are amazing. It’s my belief that my job is to help you find whatever path fits who you are. https://wisewomantherapy.com/online-therapy-for-women/therapy-for-women-in-recovery/
Practical Logistics
Q: How do I schedule an appointment?
Simply email me at debdettman@wisewomantherapy.com with some days and times that work for you and we’ll get something on the calendar.
Q: How often will we meet?
Most often clients start with weekly sessions, although some meet twice per week for a couple weeks if needed at first. This is often the case if someone is newly out of inpatient treatment and getting adusted. Consistency especially early on helps build momentum and trust (Norcross & Wampold, 2011). As things stabilize, some clients move to every other week. We’ll figure out the right rhythm together.
Q: What is your cancellation policy?
Please give at least 24 hours’ notice if you need to cancel or reschedule. Late cancellations and no-shows are charged the full session fee. I understand that life happens — we can talk through exceptions on a case-by-case basis.
Q: Is everything I say confidential?
Your ability to share is dependent upon this trust that your information is safe. I don’t even use an Electronic Health Record. I’m old school Gen X therapist with locked file cabinets. No cyber criminal can get to my paper notes. And there are a few important exceptions to confidentiality that are required by law. I am legally obligated to break confidentiality if there is imminent risk of harm to you or someone else, or if there is suspected abuse of a child or vulnerable adult. Outside of those situations, everything you share is completely confidential. I will go over all of this in detail when we begin working together.
Q: Do you offer Walk and Talk Therapy?
For clients in Chicago, I offer Walk and Talk Therapy along the lakefront trail in Edgewater.. Research shows that combining therapy with movement in a natural environment can significantly reduce anxiety and improve overall wellbeing (Denton, 2022; Bratman et al., 2012). It’s a wonderful option for people who find it easier to open up while moving. https://wisewomantherapy.com/walk-and-talk-therapy-chicago/
Questions? debdettman@wisewomantherapy.com
Ready now? Set up a free phone consultation.
References:
Bratman, G. N., Hamilton, J. P., & Daily, G. C. (2012). The impacts of nature experience on human cognitive function and mental health. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1249(1), 118–136.
Burns, D. D. (2020). Feeling Great: The revolutionary new treatment for depression and anxiety. PESI Publishing.
Covington, S. S. (2008). Helping Women Recover (Rev. ed.). Jossey-Bass.
Denton, H. (2022). A systematic review of walk and talk therapy. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 78(4), 614–632.
Herman, J. L. (2015). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence — from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.
Hofmann, S. G., et al. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427–440.
Israel, T., et al. (2008). Therapists’ helpful and unhelpful situations with LGBT clients. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 39(3), 361–368.
Lambert, M. J. (2013). Bergin and Garfield’s handbook of psychotherapy and behavior change (6th ed.). Wiley.
Mojtabai, R., & Olfson, M. (2008). National trends in psychotherapy by office-based psychiatrists. Archives of General Psychiatry, 65(8), 962–970.
Najavits, L. M. (2002). Seeking Safety: A treatment manual for PTSD and substance abuse. Guilford Press.
Norcross, J. C., & Wampold, B. E. (2011). Evidence-based therapy relationships. Psychotherapy, 48(1), 98–102.
Vogel, D. L., Wade, N. G., & Hackler, A. H. (2007). Perceived public stigma and the willingness to seek counseling. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 54(1), 40–50.
